The Emperor's To-Do List



(Add you own!)

The Emperor's List of Things to do after Resurrection
The God-Emperor of Mankind is currently taking a well earned nap and totally not dead. But that doesn't mean he's stopped caring about Humanity. He even has a list of things to after he's done taking his nap and has a hearty breakfest.

The Holy List (not in any order)

 * 1) Rebuild the Imperium to its former glory before it got screwed it over.
 * 2) Drag Leman and Corax out of the Eye of Terror.
 * 3) Resurrect Rogal Dorn
 * 4) Go to the Rock and B**** slap El'Johnson till he wakes up.
 * 5) Visit Roboute Guillaume and tell him to heal already! 10,000 years is B.S.!!!
 * 6) Recushion the Golden Throne
 * 7) Launch a Holy Crusade to find my missing bottle of awesome-sauce. The key to my success!
 * 8) Tell the Adeptus Mechanicus to stop keeping secrets and actually try to advance technology and reverse-engineer Xeno-tech so we don't have to copy whatever crap the Dark age of Technology left us.
 * 9) Threaten to Exterminatus Mars if they don't comply with #6.
 * 10) Put the Dark Eldar in rehab
 * 11) Beat Khorne and Khaine at arm-wrestling. AT THE SAME TIME!!!
 * 12) Devise a plan that is so complex and so elaborate that I can say "Just as Planned" to Tzeentch.
 * 13) Purge Chaos from the universe and seal the Eye of Terror.
 * 14) Complete #13 by taking every Astartes, Guardsman, Inquisitor, Soroitas, Commissar...Hell everyone in the Imperium, surround the Eye of Terror, and then let the Greatest of all Holy-Shitstorms ensue!
 * 15) Make peace with the Tau and trade technology with them.
 * 16) Make peace with the Eldar and trade technology with them.
 * 17) Eat a live Carnifex without the aid of sauces.
 * 18) Eat another live Carnifex with the aid of sauces.
 * 19) Beat a Commissar at a Western-Style shootout.
 * 20) If unable to find Leman in the Eye of Terror, then send search parties throughout the Empire to find that awesome excuse for a Space Viking, Leman Russ, and if he's found alive, hand his ass to him like I did before I got stuck on this throne.
 * 21) Destroy a Tau Battle-Suit...with a rusty spork
 * 22) Create a First Founding 2.0 to make theAngry Marines and other such guys canon.
 * 23) Kick Game Workshop's ass and make this damn plot move!
 * 24) Personally execute Fulgrim, Perturabo, Angron and the rest of them traitor Primarchs.. after the Inquisition has given them a proper torturing.
 * 25) F***, trip-out and drink the whole of Commorragh under the table, and then kick PUNT their stoned arses into Hell.
 * 26) Somehow find a way to come back without sparking off galaxy-wide religious hysteria.
 * 27) Beat a Lord of Change Greater Daemon in a game of Chess in only 5 moves.
 * 28) Teach Imperial Guard generals some actual tactics other than throwing more Guardsmen at it.