User blog comment:Thegreatbeing/a new age/@comment-3398633-20110821193559

I also noticed that you had a part in the "Equipment" section, where you state the chapter-legions had titans, and a gift from the Techpriest of Mars. Neither would or could happen, as the Loyalist Nine would lack the resources to make titans (check out the talk page for the Techno Legion to see why), and as these guys came from traitor legions, there is no possible way in the world the techpriest would give your guys any gift, let alone a Land Raider. If you stated that instead "the Loyalists Nine repossessed the Land Raider during the defense of Mars, and refurbished derelict titans", then it would make a bit more sense than what you have stated. You must also give a reason as to how they got the titan in the first place. Did they have a legion of loyal followers who got the titan to work? Where did they find the STCs? How did they get off of Mars with a deadly armored vehicle? These questions must be anwsered, and if you fixed the most obvious problems (like the puncution), the NCF tag will be removed. Of course, as stated, you must read the talk page to know what needs fixing.