User blog:Legionaire22/Space Wolves Assault Evaluation.

Hello, my friends/foes. You are either here to know how to best use you're allies. Or you want to be a step ahead of the Vrykl Fenryka. Jokes on you, You can't be one step ahead since the Space Wolves probobly habent taken any steps. So yeah

Step 1. Orbital Bitchslapping
Now, you have all heard of Orbital Bombardment. It is a tool used to soften up defences. Not for the Space Wolves. If you are engaged by a Space Wolves fleet, find a deep cave and stack you're portable vox with good music, cause the next 6 - 45 hours the only other sound will be the large BOOOOOOOOOM!

What more can be said about that. Don't think you're gonna be able to LIVE on a planet where a Space Wolf fleet has been. But since when did the Lords of Terra care for civilians, right? Thats the Salamanders job.

Step 2. Decent of the...uh...Guys with Chainswords i guess.
If you survived Step One, you will now be able to see a wonderful phenomenon. It is a certain, very special kind of rain. It reflects light very much and will cause lots of pretty lights because, according to Roboute, this is called Steel Rain and it basicaly means that all guys with swords will be dropped in a large metal flower called Drop Pod while the more important people like the Grey Hunters, Long Fangs, Wolf Guard, Wolf Lord, Servitors, Thralls, Skalds, Rune Priests, Wolf Priests, Inquisitors, Tourists, Remembrancers, Nerds etc. etc. will be flying down in Thunderhawks or, in rare cases, Stormbirds. Whatever you do, DONT PANIC. These are completley harmless until they get close to you. Which is kinda the reason for drop pods. If you hadn't already figured it out, they are the Blood Claws and Lone Wolfs. Basicaly, if you aint got Space Marines on you're side or a turret, you might just as well drop you're trousers and bend over (only applies for Imperial Guard units. Daemons and their followers might make it to step 4)

Step 3. The Battle Begins

Oh, you thought the Blood Claws were actually important units? Nono, they are meant for two things: Either to slaughter the heavy weapon guys or to soak up all the ammo. Now comes the Grey Hunters and Long Fangs. The Long Fangs will probobly shoot a squad to hell with Heavy Bolters and Plasma Cannons, while the Grey Hunters will be the perfect blend between the two units, mowing you down with precision Bolter Fire and, if you are so idiotic to think that you have a better chance in close combat, slash you in two with a large axe.

Step 4. The Sons of the Storm
Here comes the Rune Priests aka Bane of the Daemons you thought you could rely on. While most Psykers will have psychic hoods holding back their powers and blast of weak blasts of energy, the sheer brutality of the Rune Priest means only Khorne wants them and guess what: They don't want psykers so that means you are now fighting Space Vikings wearing armor that can shrug of a Tank round and that uses full-powered Warp Powers without any fear of the reprecautions. I can tell you this: If you ain't got Space Marines or a full regiment of Tanks under you're command, you can do what we told you to do at stage 2 (This applies to Daemons too)

Step 5. The Wolf Lord Descends
Now comes the real fun. For them. Not for you. REALLY not for you. Now comes the toughest, meanest, hardest, most coldblooded assholes you could ever hope to meet. And guess what, they aint on you're side! Yup, its the Wolf Guard already. The Terminator clad warriors that are the best of their 100 strong company. Now you are asking Where were they before?. Well, i can tell you this: They were probobly out stomping out the life of the ones that still lived or ordered the fleet to Orbital Bitchslapp some more so they won't feel left out. In this event, Stop drop and roll. It might make em laugh long enough for you're meltagunner/lascannoneer to get a lock on one and shoot them. Because hello: Terminator Armor!

Step 6. The Big Slaughter
When this comes, just pick up a gun, smear blood over you're face and say you were part of the loyalists. Hopefully the blood will disrupt their feeling of you're pheromones as you lie.

Congratulations, you have now learned the tactics of the Space Wolves. However, as the Space Wolves are the true embodiment of anarchy, this might(will) vary alot from encounter to encounter so yeah. Bye!