Guide:Three rules for how-tos

Three common mistakes I've seen people make(including myself). here presented for the amusement and education of the masses

The Hive Fleet Effect
The Hive Fleet Effect is the tendency people have of trying to show how tough our characters, warbands and chapters are by comparing them to incomparable characters and challenges, inflating their accomplishments to ridiculous proportions.

An Example
Vengful Liberation 'Even some Khorne Berserkers have flinched in surprise at the orgy of violence that ensues whenever Liberation forces make a show on the battle grounds.'

How to avoid this Effect
Firstly, do not use phrases like '. . .even X was amazed by. . .' '. . .it appalled even X. . .'

Secondly, remember that it is a BIG galaxy. VERY BIG. There is plenty of room to be mighty, or villainous, or brave, without bumping into anyone else. For example, the above example could be rewritten as 'whenever Liberation forces make a show on the battle grounds, they cause a terrible orgy of violence.'

So okay, I didn't rewrite it very well, but at least now it's canon-friendly. I mean, come on! Berzerkers of Khorne 'flinching' at an orgy of violence?

The Crybaby Effect
Yes, the universe of Warhammer 40,000 is an unjust one, where bad things happen to good people. A lot of people take this theme to the point of ridicule.

An Example
Star Lords 'The Inquisition and the Ecclesiarchy view the Chapter as heretics, though this could be due to personal interests involving power rather then religion. This is because more often than not the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are tyrannical overlords concerned only with their own interests and power and often use their faith and power to get what they want, rather than truly serving the God-Emperor.'

How to avoid this Effect
There are two techniques I can think of to avoid this effect.

The first is to treat it like it's commonplace: remember that these people are used to the universe being unfair: they live in it.

The second is to write it from in-game perspective. For example: Though the Inquisition and the Ecclesiarchy view the Chapter as heretics, Chapter Master Rynous Parax declared this was due to personal interests involving power rather then religion, declaring that the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are tyrannical overlords concerned only with their own interests and power and often use their faith and power to get what they want, rather than truly serving the God-Emperor.

Then of course, you could always not put your people in that position in the first place.

The Nice Effect
There are many writers who make their Space Marine Marine Chapters, or Elder Renegades or whatever, into nice people, who accept others for what they are, who are not superstitious about technology, and are friendly to people of other races because they know that they are all alike on the inside.

All too often, they wind up with a group of Mary Sues.

Some Examples
Star Lords The Chapter believes in upholding a series of creeds which the Imperium was supposedly built on in the Emperor's vision, before becoming corrupted by the Horus Heresy and the following events, as a result they are more kindly, accepting, tolerating and show greater faith faith and humility than most Imperial organisations.

Black Hornets '. . .are noted for being less contemptuous of unaugmented humans than some other Astartes; this, more than anything, has given them a reptation as dependable allies to regular Imperial forces.'

How to avoid this Effect
Do not put it in context: yes, it seems a little counter-intuitive, but just describe them. Instead of the above, try saying:

they are kindly, and accepting, and tolerant of differences, and show great faith and humility

Or:

. . .hold their unaugmented allies in great esteem; this, more than anything, has given them a reptation as dependable allies to regular Imperial forces.

Or, you can simply make them cold-hearted bastards

A few other simple tips
Do some damn research! If you're making a Space Marines chapter, actually look up how a chapter is made!

Have someone else look at your work, and help you keep it canon-friendly and sensible.