User blog comment:Das2Eazy/Laughing Skull/@comment-1734134-20161113005435

The Laughing Skulls are a fairly mediocre Chapter. The article suffers from numerous issues, most of them very common among new users.

Firstly, you state the Chapter is versatile, or one of the most versatile Chapters in the Imperium (this will be totally contradicted by later information). This is a non-statement. Space Marines are an inherently versatile force, they not like Guardsman who have specialised units and divisions, they are a universal powered Swiss Army knife that originally acted as shock troops. They can fulfil most roles though excel as orbital assault units.

Then we get a lot of empty phraseology that can be applied to most chapters, like “Impressive zeal”, etc. etc. We also see the first mentions of my favourite troupe, and by favourite one of the worst troupes: Good Guy Protect Civvies Space Marine. This also doesn’t make any senses, which I’ll explain later.

Thirdly we have a rivalry with the Mechanicus for reasons, one which is mistaken, since the Mechancius’s God is the Emperor, and so and so forth. So either the Chapter is horribly incompetent or ignorant, or the author doesn’t know this. Also we get more mention of Guardians of peace and innocence, which is a boring troupe.

This is contrasted with a Chapter renowned for being a death cult – something that forms the basis of my fourth issue – that is ‘insane and pointless recruitment approaches’.

Okay so the history of the Chapter is that the Chapter Master got really angry at the Eldar because they attacked him for no real reason. Our enemy has no clear motivation or purpose except to make the Chapter look cool because Harlequins are elite or something. So Magna Dragon’s pissed, and there’s only three Space Marines left (who turn out to be White Scars) but then he finds a platoon and they’re back up to fifty Marines. So then the Space Marines do something and for some reason abandon their previous Chapter for reasons and don’t want to make a new one because they want to avenge their brothers, but that’s desertion – and why would they leave their Chapter? Why would they be forced out of the White Scars? This doesn’t make any sense.

So the Harlequins are surprised at being shot at, and despite the fact the Eldar are military geniuses who’ve out-done even the best of Imperial commanders, they are not prepared for being shot at with a large volley of bolter. The Space Marines make the genius decision to empty their weapons and not kill anything, allowing a warrior order renowned for being some of the most dangerous fighters in the galaxy to enter close combat with them. But because the author wants the Chapter to be cool, they win by throwing grenades at the roof. Despite the fact the Eldar are fairly uh, fast, and by that, literally appearing to blur as they move when seen by humans, are somehow too slow to escape. Then those who survive are executed and I’m only a quarter way through jesus.

So the Space Marines, who are hated for some reason, see their angry commander get really angry when he’s called out on how angry he is. Mangus Dragon demands he be allowed to create a new Chapter for a fairly non-reason and is of course, rebutted for his stupidity. Then he gets mad and is of course defeated and is clearly a complete idiot. However, instead of being court martialled for incompetence he’s allowed to form his own Chapter two centuries later.

For someone reason this idiot is a danger to Harlequins (one of the most elite warrior orders in the galaxy who regularly outdo Space Marines). So if he was actually a problem he’d probably just receive a black hole in a box, as the Eldar usually deal with such problems quickly. In fact, it just comes off like the author wants to hype up this character, who I should note has no real personality or character. He has a name, which is a starting point. We’re also told he’s matured, we never see it.

So then we get to our big battle, or something. There’s a lot of bad guy spikey marines who are up to no good, for reasons. We’re never told why. In fact, we’re not even told which Chaos Space Marine they’re fighting, they’re just fighting them.

So then Abaddon appears, with no rhyme or reason. He just appears, but what if the reader doesn’t know who this is. It’s just a random name without context, and even then it’s clearly used because the author wants to hype up how cool the Chapter is. Then the Space Marines are quickly btfo by the ingenious tactic of several Chaos Warbands (the vaguest phrase one could use to describe such a force) So then the Space Marines launch a counter attack, and all military stratagem is thrown out the window.

So with no knowledge of what the Chaos forces are comprised of, who’s leading them, or what they want, the Cackling Craniums attack and despite being largely destroyed, manage to launch a perfect double encirclement. Here’s some advice, double encirclements are some of the hardest military manoeuvres to pull off, require exceptional ability and usually require numerical superiority and strong supply lines – as well as air superiority and strong reserve. Of course the vagueness of the battle already hampers trying to discuss it, this somehow succeeds and somehow the depleted forces are able to eliminate the pocket. Also how did they not realise they were being encircled. Also why didn’t they just break out? Also even if you encircle them, wiping out a pocket like that is pretty hard.

So then Abaddon, instead of leading his men out of the pocket, kills some people for some reason and takes the Capital for reasons. We’re never told why. For someone reason there’s a haste to stop him, and in the process Abaddon makes genius decision to flee and manages to wipe out a large amount of the Chapter.

Then there’s a Daemon Prince, for some reason, who does something. There’s all this talk of flanks and so on, but it doesn’t make any sense.

Then the ‘versatile’ Chapter limits it’s numbers. This is versatile. That’s the opposite actually.

Okay so I can’t be bothered getting through the other history section, I’ll just skip onto the problem of well, everything else.

Okay so the recruitment process involves murdering most of the recruits, a genius decision that ensures you’re supply of NCOs, Officers and recruits is reduced to nothing. Then they do some pointless stuff, that doesn’t seem to be of any benefit to the Marine in teaching him any lessons.

Also I’ve already noted the issues of using Xenos weaponry outside of this blog, so I won’t discuss it here. Also the Space Marines make the genius move of not using any heavy armour. This is the opposite of versatile. This is called limitation. Modern warfare requires heavy armour, mechanization and mobility. Not infantry tactics.

Anyway now we get onto the worst section of the article, the ‘Tactics’. I would advise reading up on military tactics, because this is all just wrong. It’s also the opposite of versatile.

So the Kutga Ord assumes a basic double encirclement can be pulled off against an opponent. Firstly, modern armies usually have mobile reserves, and by modern I mean WW1 era armies. That whole “we’ll come from behind” thing only works so long as the enemy doesn’t have forces to spare, and considering the nature of warfare, this varies from battle to battle. So what the Assault Marines try to flank me, and then my mobile reserves move in while my artillery sees your ‘charge’ fail. What it’s almost like all of these tactics rely on a perfect situation.

The next one focuses on destroying defensive perimeter. Again, reserves, anti-tank weapons and any sort of air-supremacy would see this defeated. This all relies on something going right, and if one thing fails it all falls apart. It’s not hard to plug gaps in your lines. Also the genius move to see heavy armour discarded ensures you can’t actually properly breach most defensive lines, and have to rely on slow, lumbering walkers which are easily out manoeuvred. Hopefully the enemy doesn’t have any anti-tank weapons, or reserves. It’s almost like reserves would defeat most of these tactics.

The next tactic is an artillery strike, so it’s not really a tactic. As shown in WW1, artillery struggles to deal with opponents in fortified positions. Also what if the enemy has counter artillery, which they will probably have. Your marine charge will fall apart upon finding the mostly unscathed enemy sitting in their bunkers.

The next tactic is also defeated by the magic of reserves. What if someone just reinforces the area of the line where they’ve been hit, and as noted, surrounding enemy forces is a hard task and can be broken out of.

I’m not even gonna try and explain the issues with the last one because it’s such a total mess. They’re doctrine is complete trash.

I would advise reading Soviet Military Operational Art: In Pursuit of Deep Battle.

I’d go, but the other issues come down to a lack of knowledge of the lore or poor writing. Firstly, the Inquisition is a spider’s web of ideological positions and people. It’s not one group, and so to hate all of them would be silly. Secondly the Mechancius worship the Emperor, they just call him by a different name. The rest of the article is typical “sticking it to the serious Chapters” and other clichés.