User blog comment:Valarian of Naples/The Final Day: A suggestion-run story of the Star Saints Space Marine Chapter/@comment-3993996-20141102123724

This story in its current form seems like it will be very cliché, so here are some pointers.

1) 320 marines. Why should I care for that many marines? Unless you develop every single one (meaning you'll likely have to write something longer then the Bible) then its unlikely that the reader will feel anything when the Space Marines die 2) Gene seed tampering. Yawn. Do we really need another story about how the Imperial bureaucracy is evil and Space marines are paragons of good? My advice would be is to ditch the gene seed mutation and "loss of whole chapter" and focus perhaps on a couple of squads stranded on a planet being tasked to destroy a daemon. Its simple (and with ones first story its better to focus on your writing skills then an intricate plot) and could allow for some nice set pieces and characters.