User blog:Run4urLife!/Caleb Harlan Facts



For shits and giggles. KuH, Hench and Solbur should recognise these from somewhere.

Every time someone contradicts Canon, Caleb Harlan grows in power.

Caleb Harlan can sneeze with his eyes open.

One time, a Lictor stung Caleb Harlan's eyeball. After ten days of excruciating pain, the Lictor died.

Caleb Harlan's sweat is the single largest source of Psychon, Onslaught and Spur in the known world.

The Void Dragon wears Caleb Harlan pyjamas.

Caleb Harlan is right behind you.

Before going to sleep every night, the Chaos Gods check under their beds for Caleb Harlan.

The Fall of the Eldar was not self-inflicted. Caleb Harlan just got pissed off with their narcissism and bitch-slapped the entire race.

Caleb Harlan does not style his hair. It simply lays down in that style because it is in his one and only blind spot.

Caleb Harlan is already dead. When the Grim Reaper finally summoned up the courage to tell him, Caleb beat him into a coma, folded him over and now keeps him in a shoebox.

Once, a wise man invented the car as a means of escaping Caleb Harlan. Not to be outdone, Caleb Harlan invented the car crash.

Caleb Harlan built Cadia with a bucket and spade.

Outer Space only exists because both fear and common sense keep it from living on the same planet as Caleb Harlan.

Caleb Harlan shoots your dog, kills the Chaos Gods, fires Cyclonic Torpedoes from his eyes and sleeps with your wife, all at the same time.

Caleb Harlan is not only a noun, but a verb and an adjective too.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes the skin. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. When Caleb Harlan kills a ninja, there's nothing left to salvage.

When Caleb Harlan arrived on this Earth, he was not born. He fell from Outer Space, and landed in the Caribbean. And that was the last we saw of the dinosaurs.

Caleb Harlan brushes his teeth with an Angle Grinder.

Caleb Harlan invented giraffes by punching a horse in the face.

Caleb Harlan once punched a Hydroxid to the ground.

Early in his career as an Inquisitor, Caleb Harlan was hit by a Cruiser as it fell from orbit. He defeated it by Knockout in the second round.

Caleb Harlan turns Medusa to stone.

Caleb Harlan lost his virginity before his father did.

Caleb Harlan eats grenades and shits plasma.

Caleb Harlan makes Tear Gas cry.

Caleb Harlan is capable of breathing Chlorine. When he does this, he farts Mustard Gas.

Caleb Harlan doesn't die of old age. Old age dies of Jacob Vaughton.

Caleb Harlan pisses 200% Proof Whiskey.

Caleb Harlan played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded Semi-Automatic and won. Submitted by Spectre N7

Caleb Harlan can get a woman pregnant by looking at her.

The King of Rock imparted his power of asskick onto Caleb Harlan.

Caleb Harlan is 10% Carnifex. Nothing to do with parentage, he just ate a Carnifex for breakfast.

Caleb Harlan is the preferred method of Exterminatus in two of the Ordo Majoris. The Ordo Hereticus prefer to just mention his name and let mass hysteria do the rest.

Caleb Harlan is the Avatar of Chaos Undivided.

Caleb Harlan once punched Khorne in the face, even making him bleed. Impressed with this act of badassery, Khorne decided to invite him to the Chaos Gods' weekly Poker game.

Caleb Harlan once got in a fistfight with Marneus Calgar. Calgar's armour now doubles as a full body cast.