Talk:Blood's Cry

A very solid start, (assuming he's talking about The Red Thirst and "Phantom Cry" is the genetic memories of Sangunius) but there's a few things you can tweak to make it fit thematically a little better, plus make it sound like a warrior poet(Blood Angels paint but poetry doesn't seem out of character:)

change "friends" to "brothers" somehow work in "Only in Death does duty end." loosen up the rhyme scheme a little bit too

"I hear it When forests burn and fires boil the rivers dry"

I hear it When proud Astartes fall and faithful heroes die

"To the Galaxy's edge"  --BrowncoatMando (talk) 04:58, September 18, 2015 (UTC)