The Adder Report

The Adder Report is a Inquisition document on the Space Marine Chapter Black Adders. It is famous because it was the last such report on the chapter before their decimation at the Destruction of Somme. We exited the warp in The Late Shadow above Consett at 800 hours local time, then proceeded to the surface in a Valkyrie. We landed in the Alnwick Castle hanger, and were greeted by the Chapter Master Edmund Blackadder, several high ranking battle-brothers, and what appeared to be numerous demons of Nurgle, but we were assured they were in-fact a chapter serfs. We were then given a tour of the fortress-monastery.
 * Report Start
 * Report Author: Jacob Flux
 * Report Subject: Space Marine Chapter “Black Adders”
 * Report Location: Feudal World Consett, Durham Sector, Ultima Segmentum
 * Report Time: A3.390.576.M38

Gold was abundant, on walls, ceilings, etc. There was also a wide range of art on display, both on and off planet sourced. I also believe I saw several paintings that were reported stolen a few decades back, but I did not comment. Aside from the usual rooms, such as a very clean armoury, there were numerous great halls, some of which were being used to host events with non-astartes attendance. When asked, the chapter master described the events as “family matters.” Again, no comment was made. (Other aspects of the fortress-monastery included in second part of report.)

Finally, we were shown the chapter master’s quarters. While my retinue remained outside, I sat down with the chapter master to interview him more closely.

(Transcript) Inquisitor: So, chapter master - Edmund: Please, call me Edmund. We try to keep things around here… informal. Inquisitor: Very well. One of the main questions the Inquisition has for you is your chapter seems so reluctant to take part in combat. Edmund: I am sorry to say Jacob, but you are mistaken. We’ve fought in numerous campaigns - Northumb, Jericos, Gerahan, just to name a few. Inquisitor: True, and your track record is amazing. However, a theme in your campaigns is that the enemy is always attacked by another force - before your chapter ever engages them. Edmund: I take the view, that it is better for the enemies of mankind to fight amongst themselves, then for us to fight them. Inquisitor: Really? What about the Blood Ravens then? Edmund: Ah… I’m sorry, that doesn't ring a bell… Blood Ravens, Blood Ravens… (suspected lying) Inquisitor: A fellow chapter? During the Gerahan campaign, you told them the attacking Chaos forces had a relic of their chapters past, held in their command structure. Edmund: Oh, I remember now. Yes, the Blood Ravens fought wonderfully to reach the heretic's command point. Shame the relic was gone by then… Inquisitor: The Blood Ravens Company Master Ludwig believed there was no such relic there. I may also point out, in the attempt the company was severely depleted, and the survivors swore vengeance on your chapter. There are even reports they joined chaos soon after. Edmund: What a terrible shame. (suspected sarcasm) Inquisitor: Moving on. Tell me about the organisation of your chapter. Edmund: We are a Codex Astartes compliant chapter, but because of lack of willing applicants, we only have four companies. We tend to travel as a singular force, but each company has their own… unique mindsets. Inquisitor: Really? I have a previous report.... here. First Company, captained by you - Edmund: I trust no other to lead my finest warriors. Inquisitor: - are described as “slow-witted, cowardly, and rarely seen fighting.” Edmund: Ah, well, you see - Inquisitor: “Although they are proficient in combat, but only when fighting their way out.” Edmund: Was this by Inquisitor Valahan? I’ll get them back for this… Joking, of course. (suspected lying) Inquisitor: Right. “The Second Company sucks up to the chapter enough to cause a vacuum-” Edmund: Captain Percy Percy is very keen to please. Inquisitor: “ - While Third are amongst the most cynical men I’ve met, apart from the captain who is an airhead.” Really, an airhead? Edmund: I have the strongest belief that is not true. We George tested, it’s there. It's just very, very small Inquisitor: “Finally, Fourth Company manages time and time again to avoid being deployed to the front, while their captain believes walking slowly towards the enemy is a winning formula.” I’m sorry, how can someone like that be a Company Captain? Edmund: It’s his moustache. Melchett has the most wonderful facial hair, it takes his Baldrick Darling two hours to comb it all. Inquisitor: You mentioned Baldrick there, that is a special rank of chapter serf correct? Edmund: Yes, it’s a personal servant, that tends to all a battle-brother’s needs. The name comes from an old family of servants, in fact my Baldrick is from the family. Inquisitor: So he is called… Baldrick Baldrick? Edmund: Generally I just call him Baldrick. I’ll just call him in, Baldrick! (One of the aforementioned nurgle demon lookalike entrees.) Baldrick: Yes my lord? Edmund: Nothing, just stand there. Inquisitor: One of your chapter relics has the name Baldrick, correct? Edmund: Yes, The Putrid Y-Fronts of Baldrick. It’s a chemical weapon, currently stored on our moon, in a sealed ceramite vault, guarded by our only dreadnought, encased inside a scented candle. You can smell it at full moon, and we only deploy it in most dire need. Inquisitor: I believe that is it Edmund. Where will your chapter be heading next? Edmund: The Paradise planet Somme. Threat prevention, I’m sure you understand.

After departing the Chapter Master’s company, we returned to The Late Shadow.
 * Report End