Board Thread:Critique and Advice/@comment-30488984-20161127034535

Hello all.

I am a new member of the Community and still trying to get a hang of writing Fanon, using Wikia, and creating my own art (most of my artwork has been gifted to me by Algrim Whitefang, the only thing I have done is Koein). My First Space Marine Chapter Teuton Brotherhood has been evolving a lot as I start making more lore about the planet, natives, and environment. But I am not sure if I have gone overboard and gone too detailed about trivial things. Should I make a seperate page about the Homeworld Koein? Because I feel like that section takes waaaaay too much space when I should be talking about the Chapter itself.

I am still messing around with the fluff of the chapter (A Lot), along with the specialties, beliefs, culture, organization, geneseed, and so on. And there are a lot of sections that are incomplete.

Just curious about what y'all think about the Chapter's Homeworld fluff so far. I tried to give it a sort of Caliban(ish) spice with some aspects of Battle Brothers (the Indie Game) and Warhammer Fantasy being thrown into the mix and my fascination with knightly orders.

Honestly, I am nervous about asking in this forum because I am slightly afraid of being torn a new one about how stupid it is XD. So please be gentle haha.

  