Talk:Molton Devil Dogs

So I've re-emerged from my slumber to once more proof-read other people's pages! Fear my criticism! But no - not really - don't fear my ciriticism: I'm here tp help. :)

With my little intro out of the way, I have a few points and suggestions: Anyways, I hope what I've said gives you something to think about. Best of Luck! IllumiNini (talk) 14:31, October 25, 2017 (UTC)
 * So even off the bat, I noticed grammer, spelling, and (arguable) misuse of words is rampant. For example:
 * Burgeon means: begin to grow or increase rapidly; flourish. So for you to say "Since then it has grown into a burgeoning Hive World..." doesn't quite sound right (at least not to me).
 * There's a lot of little things like little grammer mistakes such as missing spaces or lack of captial letters (for example: 'Space Marines' should probably have capital letters).
 * One thing I noted in the History and Notable Engagements sections is that regiments of this one world are involved in conflicts across the galaxy. Regardless of the fact that the regiment is based on the far eastern side of the galaxy, the regiments are not likely to operate outside their own relatively local region of space let alone their Segmentum. The only exception to this is if the regiments come from a place near the border of two or more Segmentums, and even then the regiments probably wouldn't go far.
 * "In the hive world of Molton there are two types of people. Those that toil in the massive factories and those that are members of the roving gangs that scrape a hard living in the underbellies of the hives." Somehow this seems very unlikely - There has to be more than just those types of people... surely... But the rest of the "Recruitment and Training" section seems alright to me.
 * You talk about the Molten Devil Dogs forming mostly (if not exclusively) Mechanised Regiments, but you make lots of references to their infantry and  - in the Combat Doctrine Section - talk about the used of Infantry Regiments. You should probably make it clear that these are regiments not taken from Molten, or expand on the type of regiments typically coming out of Molten.
 * Also in the Combat Doctrine section, it feels like you have a few ideas just mixed together.
 * You talk about infantry regiments which are apparently not from Molten and thus have no place in their combat doctrine. Are the Infantry Regiments? Or Mechanised Regiments? Or a mix of both?
 * "Digging fortifications...." is a relatively limited set of actions and not normally something done by regiments unless you have artilliary, so you might want to clarify this.
 * Digging as part of a fortification effort also does not really - at least in my mind - go hand in hand with swift attacks and quick flanking actions.