Talk:Battle of the 4 Blades

Tips or 2
Felt obliged to comment this because section within quality issue template to describe problems can only fit so much content.

If you are writing prose, or even something vaguely related to prose (such as these pseudo-wiki texts we have here on fanon) please do not use numbers in text. I mean sure, don't write fifteenhundredthousand six hundred forty five. But do write 2 as two, not as a number. I know that using numerals in text isn't streamlined but if you are lazy and want to use numerals, use them after ten. Never before. You are not calculating in your article, you are writing prose. Don't use numerals. "Upon the Mining world Protal II a large battle took place known as the Battle of 4 Blades, when the 3rd Protalian Guard rebelled against the imperium for Chaos Undivided under the command of Marines from a Warband of Darganti Revenants."

- Overview

Are you sure your capitalisations are all correct around here? In 40k, some nouns are capitalised without any apparent reason, such as Mining World, but in your article, you just throw capitalised letters in front of random words. How about capitalising Imperium? Is the warband's name Warband of Darganti Revenants? Or just Darganti Revenants? Because if second, the warband isn't capitalised and if first... it is just stupid. This whole, one, sentence is also waaay too long. "Marines" is not capitalised... it is just a noun, not a proper one. Overview clause is also not very concise.

After the first heading. "Chaotic" is not capitalised, chapter in "Death Wyrms Chapter" is neither. Inquisition is capitalised, it is the name of an organization. Again, "marines" nor "warband" is capitalised, or is there another warband called "Warband of Marines" on planet? What is this clause even supposed to mean: "The Death Wyrms took and increasingly heavy losses"? Also "losing almost all of the 6th Company".

This whole sentence is also way too long: "soon however it becomes a war of attrition, with a no mans land between the Death Wyrms forward base, and the Capital City if Kanel.". Please use only single tense in an article, or at least in a single section. It is no man's land, and Capital City is not capitalised, if it isn't the name of the capital city, which in scifi stories is sometimes true.

I don't even want to go to the next chapter, because this is pretty much a lost case when it comes to spelling. My tips are; learn English grammatics. Sorry about the bluntness, but it is my honest tip. And as they are pretty hard, please make use of automatic spellcheckers which can be installed into your browser or maybe in other text editors too if you're working your articles on computer before publishing them on wiki. --Administrator of the Warhammer 40k Fanon, Remostalk 17:04, September 10, 2018 (UTC)